The truth is that as Christian men and women, we are all equally pure in every way because we are bought with a high price and covered by the blood and sacrifice of Jesus Christ.Even the most “sexually pure” among us is as dirty rags compared to the purity of God (Is. Likewise, the most “sexually impure” among us is as white as snow due to the cross and resurrection of Jesus.Yet, if we do fall down and make a mistake sexually, the beautiful grace of Jesus Christ covers all.Most devout Christians believe that the Bible discourages sex before marriage, but what about other forms of physical affection before marriage?Almost immediately we began to struggle with “sexual purity” and I became an emotional disaster. Our sex life has always been good, but because I believed it should be close to perfect, it never seemed good enough.All of the guilt, shame, and condemnation that I had swept under the carpet 5 years prior rose to the surface like a whirlwind of uncontrollable dust. I will say this, my husband and I do have a unique emotional bond due to having sex only with one another, for which we can probably thank the evangelical purity culture, but I have decided to walk away from the idea of “sexual purity” forever. It felt gross having someone’s tongue down my throat. All joking aside, I loved Jesus very much and I wanted to be pure for Him. I picked out a gold ring with a rose on it and made a commitment to stay pure until marriage. I would secretly call my mom to come get me at the end of an evening party, sneak out the door and wait down the street for her to pick me up, all in an attempt to dodge my first kiss. I guess he couldn’t wait anymore and I was not expecting it.
I could not handle the guilt and the shame anymore, so I avoided all of it as much as possible.
My highschool sweetheart moved on quickly and I didn’t.
I became prideful about my ability to stay focused and out of a romantic relationship.
Christians would praise me for maintaining my virginity and I would eat it up.
Unbelievers would make fun of me and I honestly believed they were just jealous.